Update 6- My alarm went off at 4 am and the local news station had someone perky doing live shots in front of the BOE offices. The primary is still off, but instead of considering the constitutional conflict going on right in front of us, the local anchor just did this bizarre fucking groundhog cheer as they transitioned to the weather guy. Does this kind of shit just happen at this early hour and I’ve been missing it?!
Update 5- At 11 pm we get this message. I say again WTF???
(Franklin County Board of Elections) Dr. Amy Acton, Director of the Ohio Department of Health, has issued an order directing that all polling locations throughout Ohio be closed Tuesday, March 17, 2020. All Franklin County polling locations will be CLOSED. As further details become available, we will keep you posted.
Update 4- About five minutes after Chris Hayes show announced the primary is on, our County finally told the workers to report. I’ve got Lysol, disinfectant wipes, alcohol, gentle strength bleach, soap and a gigantic roll of paper towels which I could probably sell for $20 tomorrow, if it’s not stolen first. This is definitely going to suck. Good thing I’ve been enjoying insomnia this week or I might be worried about having no sleep.
Update 3 Columbus Dispatch reports judge denied request to delay Ohio primary. Franklin County BOE sent out mass email to workers 15 minutes after Dispatch story telling us not to report tomorrow. Can I buy a fucking clue now?
Update 2- just got text from Franklin County as follows:
(Franklin County Board of Elections) Primary Election tomorrow PROBABLY moved to June 2. Waiting for official word. Early Setup tonight DEFINITELY cancelled.
Updated here with breaking news- Dewine says he doesn’t have authority to cancel primary but will ask court to delay election until June. Speak of the devil!
The Diary-
Every election, poll workers always have a to-do list ready the week before, just so we don’t forget stuff rushing out the door to our locations early on Tuesday morning. I usually love the whole process, from beginning to end. My to-do list usually looks like this-
- Find comfy shoes, with another pair in case the first pair sucks
- Read over the poll workers manual and add post-its wherever necessary
- Put duct tape in my carry bag and remember to pack the phone charger
- Make sure I have a couple of bright colored pens so I don’t lose them
- Save gallon jugs with gravel in them so I can stick the flags outside the entrance
- Get a pet sitter in case we run really late
- Buy healthy snacks, make a plan to get donuts for my crew
- Hide chocolate in my bag for when I don’t want the healthy snacks
- Check the election supplies again to make sure I have everything we need
- Set four alarms the night before because getting up at 4 am really sucks
This year my carry bag also has a canister of disinfectant wipes, rubbing alcohol, gel bleach, sponges to wet the envelopes, a kitchen timer so I can have my workers stop hourly to wash their hands, and a big can of linen-fresh Lysol that just jumped in there. Unfortunately, I’m still adding more fairly creepy stuff to that carry bag tonight.
The Board of Elections just issued us the giant sign in the photo above to be displayed at my polling place. We also got all kinds of hygiene gear in a sack, although I’m still waiting on the hand cleaner (soon they say). I’m also still waiting to see how many workers will be at my location, because when I talked to the Board of Elections this morning they were still scrambling to get enough staff to operate all the polling places. And we’re quickly running out of time, even though the Secretary of State issued instructions yesterday about enhancing voter access that I’m pretty sure we couldn’t fulfill under normal circumstances, let alone now.
So to keep from screaming out loud, I’m sitting here making my own signs so that voters coming to our location understand what’s going to be happening that’s different this year, so they know that we’re working hard to protect them from this goddamn virus. We have wipes, so come on in? Nope, too flippant, so I settled on this one for the entrance.
Welcome!
Poll workers are going to be inviting voters into the polling location in small groups today.
Please maintain a safe distance between yourself and the next voter while you are waiting in line.
Not too threatening, right?
My god! That I have to do that in a country that has prided itself in its ability to do just about everything that you could think of to help carry us through any difficult situation. But now a whole lot of people are pretty convinced that water will no longer come out of the faucet and that no one will be coming to help them when they call 911. And that’s not altogether wrong. The fire station that is literally across the street from our Board of Elections was closed this weekend because one of the EMTs has COVID19 and 31 other people are being assessed now. My god.
People coming in to vote at my polling location for the last 3 ½ years have been absolutely chomping at the bit to be able to just vote in this federal election already, to finally get that narcissistic sociopath out of our White House before he really fucks up the county. And now here we are. Schools, workplaces, restaurants are all closed in Ohio and in lots of other states too. I’m really worried that I will get sick tomorrow. Being in the state capital, that’s pretty much inevitable. But I just want to make it through one more day without having to quarantine myself.
We’re staring daily at the faces of an administration that doesn’t see anything in government but an opportunity to strut across all media, convinced that they are all that and a bag of gold-plated chips. They had their plans from day one and none of it involved public service. What an archaic notion, really, the idea that you have been elected to serve the public, to be our representative to the boring, efficient mechanisms of government. That you have a responsibility to do that job well, to keep people safe and children fed, to do a job that should not involve dodging questions about the relief effort by citing national security. I saw what you did there, Mr. Pence.
But I’m running a polling location tomorrow come hell or high water. And that doesn’t sound so unlikely anymore, does it? I will tell you this- the governor better not cancel this election tomorrow. Because now that hell and high water have arrived, I’m opening those polls tomorrow if I have to wear a full scuba suit with flippers and a goddamn harpoon. We have visible proof before us of what happens when the wrong people are elected to office. And their time is quickly coming to an end- just ask somebody on Wall Street or the person driving to their fourth damn store looking for toilet paper.
Hey Ohio? Yeah, and Illinois, Arizona, Florida- you too. Go vote tomorrow. We will be waiting by the door for you. I will be the one that throws open the door at 6:30 with a big smile and the hand sanitizer I brought from home.